Journey Toward Wholeness Reblog #15 10/6/2020 (Originally published January 16, 2018)
This is a journal entry from January 2017:
Dear Lord, I wish other people would deal with these fear thoughts for me, but I guess they can’t. Please forgive me for seeking other people instead of looking to You. Only You can help (Psalm 62:1, 5). I am Your child (1 John 3:1). You have chosen me for Your own (Colossians 3:12). I will praise and love You with all my heart.
The feelings of panic aren’t so bad this morning, but fear thoughts tumble in. Today I slept an extra hour. I felt afraid to face the day. Now I’m afraid that I won’t get everything done that I need to do, and that would be awful.
Today, many Christians face persecution, loss of loved ones, lack of basic necessities, etc., and here I am—afraid to do household chores, write some checks, and make phone calls because I might not get it all done. “Shame on me,” I think.
When I think of Scriptures like Hebrews 12:2 (“Keeping our eyes on Jesus…”) and Colossians 3:1-2 (“Seek what is above where Christ is…. Set your mind on things above…”), all I can think about is that I haven’t been doing that, so shame on me again.
Jesus, what are You saying to me when I get into these disturbed thinking patterns?
Maybe you are saying, “Don’t be ashamed. Just repent and turn back to Me. Trust in Me. Let your body and mind rest so healing can begin.”
It seems like I’ve come a long way since I wrote these things, and day by day I am learning to love and trust Jesus more.
Oh Lord, You are so merciful and faithful and good! All praise belongs to You. Amen.
Psalm 62:1 “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.” Psalm 62:5-6 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” 1 John 3:1a “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” Colossians 3:12 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved….” (All NIV)