Tag Archives: Christian

The Journey Begins

Journey Reblog 3

After a checkup, my doctor became concerned about my sodium level and suggested I discontinue taking my antidepressant medicine. I stepped down on the dosage until I was off that medication. I prayed, read my Bible, read devotionals, spent quiet time with the Lord, and asked others to pray for me (which they did).

           Nevertheless, sleeping problems started in the first week without the medicine. I woke up frequently in the night with sweaty palms and a feeling of panic. During the day, my insides felt like jelly, and my hands trembled constantly. Soon, fear and self-doubt took over my mind. My thoughts jumped onto a hamster wheel of failures, not good enough, should have, ought to, God expects better, others are better, and on and on.

I returned to my doctor who prescribed different medicines which didn’t seem to help. I finally checked into the geriatric psych unit of a local hospital. That gave me a break from my usual responsibilities. The doctor there got me back on the antidepressant that had worked before. The staff connected me with a nearby mental health clinic with which I could follow up after my hospital stay.

After I returned home, I felt overwhelmed by the simplest tasks. At night I slept only 2 hours at a time, waking up in panic between “naps.” At first I had to force myself to get up in the mornings because I felt overwhelming anxiety and thought I couldn’t face the day. But I did get up each morning and attempt to spend a quiet time with Jesus. I mostly wrote prayers in my journal, tried to read a little Scripture, and sometimes sang a hymn.

I wanted to feel better right away. I didn’t.  Throughout the 4-month long struggle with anxiety/depression, I continued to pray, write in my journal, read Scriptures and devotions, and attend church where I worshiped God with others, had fellowship with my church family and found spiritual nourishment in good sermons.

Sometimes the encouraging Bible verses I read didn’t seem helpful or encouraging. I didn’t feel less anxious. But God’s Word is true. My feelings don’t change the truth of His Word. I kept writing verses in my journal and hoped they ministered to my spirit even though my body and troubled mind didn’t seem to be paying attention.

“We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let Your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone”—Psalm 33:20-22. Without you, Lord, we have no hope. “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence”—Jeremiah 17:7. (Both Scriptures New Living Translation.)


Filed under Journey Re-Blogs

A Good Friday Jotting

God gave us good gifts on Good Friday, such as the forgiveness of our sins through the death of Jesus on the cross, direct access to God when the temple curtain in front of the Most Holy Place was torn in two, and most important, the proof of His astounding love for us.

Today I want to remember what it cost the Triune God to give these gifts to us. Jesus laid aside His glory, honor, and equality with God to become a lowly human baby and experience temptation, rejection and other struggles as a man. Finally He suffered the agony of Gethsemane and the humiliation and excruciating pain of betrayal, abandonment, mockery, beating, the torturous death of the cross, and the separation of the “Tri-unity” when our sin was laid on Him. The Almighty Father could have said, “These humans aren’t worth letting my beloved Son go through all this,” and then sent His angels to the rescue. But He didn’t.  He watched it all.

And God did it all for us when we were still sinners, rebellious and determined to go our own way (Romans 5:8). Incredible love! Yet true. I’m reminded of an old hymn that includes the lines, “Why should my Savior to Calvary go? Why should He love me so?” (“Why Should He Love Me So?”—words and music by Robert Harkness.) I also think of the chorus of another hymn, “Lest I forget Gethsemane, lest I forget Thine agony, lest I forget Thy love for me, lead me to Calvary.” (“Lead Me to Calvary”—words by Jennie E. Hussey.)

Yes, God gave us wonderful things on Good Friday. May I never forget or take for granted the great love He showed at such great cost.


Filed under Christian, Good News, Jesus

Welcome to Journal Jottings

Welcome to Journal Jottings, a blog based on Scriptures, insights, prayers and thoughts from Tricia’s spiritual journal on  WordPress.com . I love Jesus and I love to write about Him. This is my first post. It may take me a while to learn how to work with this, so I hope you’ll be patient with me.


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